Today’s prompt is anger.
This word makes my soul grieve more, but I must be honest about where I’m truly at.
I had a childhood friend reach out to me two weeks ago to ask me, “Were you ever angry at God?”
My exact response, “Oh girl, I’m still angry at God. I love Him, I believe in Him and I know He is faithful. But I FEEL very betrayed and I’m learning to trust Him again, ever so slowly.”
This is where I am at today. I don’t know how to separate my anger towards God not healing London Joy the way I wanted, with my absolute belief that He is still good despite my sorrow.
I am also very aware that healing from something like I’ve been through is a journey and that trying to rush it or sugar coat it does nothing.
Healing hurts. Every bit of it. My heart physically aches some days. My brain cannot always grasp simple tasks or ideas. My arms are so heavy even though they are empty.
Anger changes none of the above truths, it only makes them more devastating and isolating. Grief in itself is already so isolating.
A friend sent me this song yesterday and I’ve listened to it over and over. Gracefully Broken. Even in my anger, my Jesus is calling me.